asking for the music as an act of kindness for myself

I realize I’ll never get this CD the way things are going, how critical I am with myself, so I’ll extend some kindness to myself at this point. In my mind, there couldn’t possibly be a act of kindness if I’m doing with the intention to receive DM Sure’s music. The intention behind kind act is already tainted. Last Sunday as I was driving on the freeway, a car had smoke coming exhuming, so I wave the car down, and then stopped to help out, when the driver is waiting for the spouse to come, and I realize I don’t know enough about automobiles to do anything, I drove away, saying to myself: “shucks, can’t get DM Sure’s music yet, that wasn’t an act of kindness; need something greater act before the action deserve to be called act of kindness.” I don’t see myself doing anything that’s kind. It’s difficult to do a real act of kindness without the ego benefiting in someway. Somehow, every kind is interpreted as benefiting the self in someway. Perhaps, I’ll relax, and be kind to myself by asking for the CD without having done any act of kindness. Maybe it’ll be a retroactive type of deal, I’ll share this music with as many people as I can or something.